Thursday, 13 November 2014

Back to the Back of Beyond

A human stole my baby!
Another Rip-snorting Adventure

It's been quite some time since the lads have done battle in the dark steamy jungles of Africa so, for my fortnightly game, I decided to put on a sequel to our previous epic 'Quest for the Emerald Orb' game. Much to the dismay of some of the more traditional gamers among our happy band.

The, somewhat convoluted, story goes that whilst searching for the 'Emerald Orb', in a previous adventure, The Royal British Geographical Society Expedition, headed by that intrepid explorer and stout-hearted son of empire, Sir Percival Frockmorton, stumbled upon startling evidence of Dinosaurs. To be precise his old friend, Professor Yeatman-Briggs, slipped in a giant steaming pile of kaki while packing his pipe! Fortunately he had the presence of mind to recognise that no animal known to man, other than a dinosaur, could produce such a prodigious pile of poo. Further investigation revealed, incredibly, the fossilized skeleton of a Brontosaurus half buried in a peat bog.
The site was carefully mapped for future reference and the party single-mindedly continued on their quest for the orb knowing they would be back.....
A year later and Sir Percival has been entrusted by non other than the Queen herself to lead a top secret Expedition to return to the site and extract a dinosaur egg for incubation and hatching back in England...preposterous but true! One needs a vivid imagination and a complete disregard for reality when writing this stuff.

Sir Percival (Left) and Prof Yeatman-Briggs

It is at this point that I should inform you that every move the Expedition makes is being carefully followed by that arch fiend and bitter rival of Sir Percival,  Baron Otto Von Schlessinger and his gang of thugs. It transpires that through his nefarious network of spies and the, unspeakably horrible, torture of a member of the Royal Geographical Society, who stupidly allowed himself to be lured into the Barons clutches by one of the Baron's most alluring female agents the Baron has detailed knowledge of the expedition's plans and is intent on thwarting them and stealing the Schweinhund Britischer thunder by snaffling the egg for the glory and honour of a grateful Kaiser and an adoring Fatherland.

The Forces

The Royal British Geographical Society Expedition 
Sir Percival and Lady Veronica Frockmorton
Lady Veronica's travelling companion, Dorothea Miggins
Professor CedricYeatman-Briggs
A team of pack mules and some hangers on from the Royal Society.
A military escort  of soldiers from the East Surrey Regt under the command of Captain Rupert Anstruthers

The steam Aeroneff HMA Goshawk 
Commanded by Captain Fenton Makepiece and a company of Marines
Ordered to rendezvous and effect an extraction of the expedition and render any assistance

HMA's Corsair Class Aeroneff, Goshawk

The Opposition.
Baron Otto Von Schlessinger
His trusted side-kicks, the Ribbentropp brothers, Max and Gunther
A gang of hired mercenary Boers and big game hunters.

Baron Freyr Von Schlessinger and the Ribbentropp Brothers

The Zeppelinette Mephisto, The Baron's preferred means of transportation and ticket out of danger.

The Zeppelinette Mephisto

In addition the Baron has at his disposal:
A ground force of specialist jungle-trained Jager of the 21st Jungle Jager Regt
Commanded by Oberst Felix Von Fleihoffen and under orders of the Kaiser himself to render any assistance to the Baron  and answerable directly to the Baron
A Himmel-Krankenwerken portable aether telegraph machine and operator to maintain communication between the Baron and the Major.

The lay of the land

The table consists of a steamy jungle interspersed with swamps, quicksand, elephant grass and crocodile infested waterways. Usual movement impediments apply to the terrain and a number of cunning and devilish hazards await the unwary, of which later...
A river wends its way lengthways through the jungle. In the North west corner lies the Village of the  Snoozenuluzem tribe of head hunters. The river is crossable along its entire length. Somewhere near the middle lies a treacherous area of mosquito ridden swampland. Two large rocky outcrops rise majestically above the jungle canopy.
A narrow track wends its way through the jungle.

The Snoozenuluzem's village

The British Expedition sets off.

We take up our story as the British Expedition is within a short hike of the dinosaur fossil site. They begin their trek from their camp-site at the Southern baseline.

Sir Percival insists on a brisk pace as the track affords good going and the river doesn't appear too deep so crossing should be simple enough.
Safely across the river they press on, following the track till they spy, just around the bend in the track, the bleached bones of a dinosaur skeleton. By Jingo!, were on to something here exclaims Sir Percival in hushed tones. "I say Sir Percival, best we slow the pace a bit and keep our eyes peeled" replies Captain Anstruthers, "no sense in blundering into something nasty". Bloody civilian types he secretly mutters under his breath.

"I say Sir Percival, best we slow the pace a bit and keep our eyes peeled"

Meanwhile in another part of the jungle the Baron approaches undetected in his silent dirigible.
Through his telescope he spies the British Expedition. "Mwa ha ha! now I have them" he laughs mirthlessly
Spotting a suitable landing site in a clearing he orders the craft to descend and sets out on foot with his cohorts to intercept the British party. Before heading off he orders, (via aether telegraph),  Oberst Fleihoffen, who has just come upon the British expedition's deserted camp-site, to follow the cursed British with all haste and combine forces with his to overwhelm them.
"Ja Ja! Dats bloody gut, while we've been marching for days through this verdamnt jungle up to our arses in sheiss he arrives like the bloody Walkyries without so much as getting his shiny boots dirty. Fancy a decorated war hero like me taking orders from a schwein like that!!" he curses.

Oberst Fleihoffen and the 21st Jungle Jagers

No sooner has the Oberst and his men disappeared from sight round a bend in the track than The Royal British Navy makes its appearance in the form of the Corsair Class Aeroneff Goshawk. As per his orders Captain Makepiece has located the British camp-site which is also the designated rendezvous point. His orders are to put his craft down on the rendezvous point leaving a skeleton crew to guard the ship and proceed on foot with a party of Marines to meet up with the Expedition and escort it and its priceless prize back to the ship.  He will then proceed at top speed to the nearest British port where an awaiting British Heavy Cruiser will transport  Sir Percival and his expedition back to Dear Old England.

At last all the key players are on the field.....

Follow next weeks thrilling installment of Rip-snorting Adventures dear readers to see how things transpire.
Will Sir Percival find his egg and evade the Baron to bring home the prize or are other nasties far worse than the Baron lurking in the jungle.... ???


  1. Great eye-candy there! I'm looking forward to the AAR.

  2. Keep your eyes peeled for further action packed instalments old chap.

  3. Great stuff Gav, I've missed your humorous reports!

  4. Thanks Scott,
    My blog's taken a bit of a back seat for a while as I've been busy painting steam-punk stuff and other non wargaming related commitments. I'm off to the Burt Munro Rally in a couple of weeks so motorcycling is high on my list of leisure time activities over the summer.

  5. Wonderful stuff...and brilliant table!